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Thinking of Committing Suicide? Don’t
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This is a difficult time for all of us, but we truly don’t realize it until it hits us personally.
Several days ago, I woke up crying. I have a history of anxiety and depression, and I’ve sought therapy several times during my life, usually during periods of great stress. Like graduation from college. Like the death of my father. The death of my last husband. The death of my most recent dog.
This time there was no “real reason,” meaning not a single situation I could point to. It was existential.
The states are opening up. But like the old Gershwin song, “They’re writing songs of love, but not for me…” As I’ve written before, I’m one of the vulnerable. Because of my age, I will be one of the last to be “released” from self-isolation. It was definitely time for a pity party last week, especially because I haven’t seen my grown children in months, and both Mother’s Day and my birthday are in May.
Here were my thoughts: what do I have to live for? I’m only going to get older and more vulnerable. I can’t travel, my clients have been sacrificed to the quarantine, and I’m stuck in the house with a roommate who is studying the Dao and doesn’t talk to me all day. I’ve far less purpose than I’ve ever had in my life . Things can only go downhill from…
